- Projects /October 24, 2018/
Stroy By: Anebo Fredrick (Anfred)
Sexual abuse, also referred to as molestation is usually undesired sexual
behavior by one person upon another.
When force is applied, it is called sexual assault. (The offender to a sexual abuser is called Molester.)
Marriage is an agreement between a man and a woman to become husband and wife of which becomes a union.
Now looking from the perspective of sex in marriages, sex is vitally important in marriage,
The only thing you uniquely share with your spouse that you don’t share with anyone else is sex.
Therefore, sex becomes the only one thing that differentiates you and your spouse from another,
It’s a vital part of marriage.
Sex in marriages should it be an agreement before it happens or not?
The answer that best suit this question is dangling. Because, it depends on both couples as to how
they set their remedy.
But from my perspective, it should be an understandable agreement and self-willingness before
anything sort of that happens, because, each spouse must be in their right mood before having sex.
if any person forcefully has sex with his or her spouse unwillingly, it becomes an offence to that victim in question.
Because the laws of the. country, particularly in Chapter Five, fundamental Human Right and Freedoms.
Chapter Five, Clause 14 of the Constitution. It says, “Every person shall be entitled to his personal liberty and no person shall deprived of his personal liberty except in the following cases and in accordance with procedure permitted by law.”
Therefore, forcefully having sex without your spouse willingly agreeing becomes an abuse of her fundamental Human Right and Freedom.
So, why then should women keep mute to voice out if being sexually abuse?
Again the answer to this question is dangling. But I presume it to be Fear.
The word fear has so many implications on an individual. Looking at Brain Tracy quote, and he said,
“It is not failure itself that holds you back. It is the fear of failure that paralyzes you.”
From his quote, we got to know one of the side effects of fear. To know, if is as a result of fear, continue reading……
On the 14th of Auguest 2017, an opinion poll was held by Mr. Anebo Fredrick on the subject matter,
“Do you think sexual abuse in marriages, should be discussed or disclosed? If Yes why? And if No why?”
Target audience was marriage couples, but emphasis was based on women (wives).
At end of excesses, out of 20% citizens that gave out their opinions, 15% were women and 5% men.
Out of the 15% women, 14 of them gave their opinions that, it should not be disclosed but can be discussed within themselves.
From the men’s perspective, all the 5 said, it shouldn’t be disclosed. Both men and women explain as to why it shouldn’t be disclosed lines up to one reason, “To protect their marriage and prevent the fact of being disgraced.”
NOW these comes down to my assumption of which I stated above earlier, “Fear.”
Women are afraid to voice out because, of the fear of their marriages, and the fear of being disgraced.
But the question is, is it solving the problem of sexual abuse in marriages, A lot is happening
out there at our homes, communities, towns, regions, cities and villages, many are of such victims,
suffering but under pretense simply because there are afraid. People are dying slowly, gradually
and in pains in their own homes but they can’t voice out. Why are the laws there to protect citizens,
why are the CHRAJ and the civic organization bodies established, not for fun but for protection.
Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out. (Karl Augustus Menninger).
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past,
I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
(Frank Herbert). These are the point of view from few citizens (women) from the millions of women and people out there.
We can save lives of those who are suffering, those who are in such conditions and situations. Voice out women!! Voice out citizens!! Let’s hear voice in voices of both men and women to make a difference and a change.
The issues is still dangling, your comments and opinions to what women are approving is allowed. NB: the arguable question is “Do you think sexual abuse in marriages should be discussed or disclosed? If Yes why? And If No why?
Your opinions make a difference.
Editor: Anebo Fredrick (Anfred)